I've had the pleasure of capturing Carolyn's motherhood journey from her maternity portraits, her daughter Juliette's newborn photo session and now with her 1-year photos. These photos portray the best part of having a baby, but what they don't show are the never-ending challenges that come with raising a tiny human.
As any parent knows, having a child requires a huge adjustment to everyday life. Then as soon as you find a flow that works, another challenge emerges. Carolyn has embraced both the ups and downs of motherhood, and have implemented a positive outlook during these challenges by way of mantras. These little phrases have been a great aid to navigating her life as a mother and keeps her looking at the bright side of things.
Motherhood Mantras
"My daughter Juliette just turned one, and I can’t believe I have a toddler now! When I reflect on the last year, I am in awe of the impossible amount of love that I have for this little girl. Motherhood has somehow been everything I expected but also full of surprises. I would never trade it for anything.
Right before Juliette emerged earthside, I remember one of the nurses coming over and untying my hospital gown so that I could be ready for “skin to skin”. Even though I was in the midst of pushing, I started to get a little nervous about meeting her for the first time. I couldn’t believe it was about to happen.
When the nurse placed her on my chest, I looked right into her eyes and said, “Hi, I’m your mom”. It was a really strange feeling - I knew her so intimately, but I was seeing her for the first time. I remember looking for traces of myself, my husband; but also reminding myself that she’s her own person. She will look like herself.
The first few days after we brought her home felt just like survival for me. It wasn’t so much an emotional bond with her as it was a primal one - she was my young and I needed to keep her alive. As we settled in, the true feelings of love and connection started to emerge. One of my best friends told me that with her first baby she spent so much of the newborn phase wishing the time away just so she would be through it, so I tried my best to stay present with Juliette even in the tough moments (and there definitely were a lot of those!). Now that she’s a year old and we’re moving swiftly into toddlerhood, I am so glad my friend said that to me and that I took it to heart.
I’ve developed a few mantras since becoming a mom that help me keep things in perspective, and they are also what I usually say for advice to any new parents or parents-to-be. The first one is “Everything is a phase” - the tough stuff but also unfortunately good things too. For example, at first breastfeeding was REALLY hard. It took me a few weeks to really get the hang of it. Finally, Juliette and I found a rhythm together. Then at around 4 months old, she woke up to the world. Breastfeeding became a huge challenge again because she was constantly distracted by everything around her. I remember we couldn’t even use our fireplace because she would just stare at the flames and not eat.
The second one is “This is a season” - similar to the first mantra, but for me it has more to do with my behavior, schedule, activities, etc. I repeat this to myself when, for example, I am awake with Juliette at 6am on a Saturday. I say this to myself as reassurance; being a parent to a young child is a huge adjustment, but so many things about it are temporary. Eventually I will have more freedom, flexibility, and time. But not in this season.
The third mantra/piece of advice is “Nothing is linear”. I say this mostly to other people; friends who have babies younger than Juliette and are asking questions about whether or not something is “normal” or if their baby is “on the right track”. So much of what we hear and see about child development makes it seem like babies just follow a set timeline of milestones, when in reality all babies develop at their own pace and in sometimes wildly different “orders”. One of my co-workers has a daughter who is two months younger than Juliette and is already saying “Hi”, but is nowhere near crawling. Juliette has been crawling since she was 7 months, but is not speaking any words yet.
Overall, becoming a mom has been an incredible journey. I have a new appreciation for all parents. This is a tough job! But watching a life develop from the very beginning is truly something to behold, especially when it came from your own body. It’s the closest thing to magic that I can think of."
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