As many of you may know, I don’t have children and I’m no spring chicken. Though, when asked, I always say I have many children. This comes from the place that I get to enjoy little ones all the time and I see many of them grow from tiny little peanuts (or even before that when they are just a cute belly) to walking, talking adorable little humans.
Another fun part of my job is seeing women grow into mothers and learning about their experiences. And I always enjoy reading the stories that my beautiful mamas send me to share on my blog. When I was reading Melinda‘s email with the text for this blog post, for the first time, I found myself relate to the journey. The first half of her story felt to me as if I had written it. It hit very close to home.
Life doesn’t always go as we expect it or plan it. In fact, it almost never does. And, as women, we are always reminded that we have a biological clock. Sometimes the ticking of that clock is so loud in our ears that it drowns everything else around us and traps us in a very dark place. While reading Melinda's essay, I found myself in that place for a moment. But then, I got to the second half of her text and all the positivity and love in her words brought me back to my sunny studio. She reminded me of the many years that are still to come and that I plan to make the best of it no matter the path.
Thank you, Melinda, for your beautiful writing and honest words!
I remembered thinking, well that's it - I missed my timing.
"For the longest time, pregnancy was such a distant idea. Something I would do "when I grow up" which for one reason or another kept getting put off. When I turned 29 and became single again, I remembered thinking, well that's it - I missed my timing. Letting go of that timeline for meeting someone and growing a family together was devastating at first. It took a long time to trust that things will work out in the end. But it happened!
I may be in the advanced maternal age category, but as I became older, the fears and insecurities surrounding pregnancy, such as body image issues, hormonal changes, and labor pain became almost secondary. As I got further along in my pregnancy, those fears began to melt away, replaced by relief from signs of a healthy baby and excitement from feeling the little flutters growing into strong and stronger kicks.
It made me love my belly for what's inside it. I love feeling her movements against my hand and will miss these belly moments when it's gone. It strikes me as new news everyday that I'm going to give birth to a baby soon. It has made me appreciate and love my body more for it's amazing resilience and ability to create life. I feel so fortunate that this pregnancy journey has gone so well and ended up being such a beautiful and positive experience. I want to remember this moment and feeling forever."
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